The Tease: Beginners Guide to BDSM (Part One)

So, you’ve watched 50 Shades of Gray. Or maybe you landed on that naughtier side of adult entertainment websites. And now you’ve got your kink on. Or maybe you and your loved one just want to spice things up with games of submission and domination. No matter the reason for which you want to get into the art of BDSM sex, we’re here for you. 

For anyone who is new to BDSM, we prepared a beginner’s guide to help you put together your very first BDSM tease kit for the most intense orgasms in the safest and most enjoyable way possible. This next article not only that will introduce you to the first BDSM sex toys you need, but will also give you tips on how to use them. When you’re learning the BDSM lifestyle you must start light and patiently, so the following guide starts from mild to rough. 

The Blindfold

The blindfold is the first thing someone should get when they want to introduce their partner to their kinkier side. Being blindfolded gets them used to giving up control and learning to submit with trust to the desires of the loved one. Don’t just use the blindfold they give you on the airplanes during long flights. Get something stylish and sexy to show your partner that you’re serious about the BDSM tease. Since this is her first fetish gift, go with something more sensual and girly.

Fetish Fantasy Satin Love Mask it’s soft to the touch and it comes in multiple colors. For extra points, make sure to match the color with her favorite lingerie. 

 The Tickler

If you’ve never achieved pleasure through controlled pain with your partner, the best way to tease for BDSM experiences is a tickler. You will get to dominate them fearing without any risk of harm. Tickling can be a very intense feeling during those heated moments. It will make your loved one’s body twitch and turn. They will beg you to stop and being at your mercy will give you that sweet satisfaction of power. 

Wrist restraints  

When BDSM learners think about bondage, they usually think about ropes. But the beginners guide to BDSM recommends wrist restrains over ropes in the first experiences. Rope bondage is more complex than you might think. It requires learning knots, practice and trust from your partner. That’s why wrist restrains are the way to go at first. You’ll have time to experiment with ropes as you progress in the BDSM lifestyle.

The Easy Toys Faux Leather Handcuffs are the perfect example for the saying “less is more”. They are simple, stylish, they don’t look threatening at all, but they are efficient for power play. They’re better than metallic handcuffs, because they’re more comfortable on the wrist, which is better for a beginning couple. 

Collar with Leash Soft Collar with Leash (fetish gear category in menu)

There’s no token with a more intense symbolistic in a dominant-submissive relationship than gifting your partner a collar with leash. It will really make your intentions clear and having them on a leash will give you an immense feeling of power. Plus, they look ridiculously sexy when you walk them naked through the house and it can be used in some really creative BDSM sex positions. But if you are a beginner, don’t go with anything too kinky like collar with spikes and tag that says “Slut” or chain leash.

Go for a stylish collar, such as the Spartacus Collar & Leash, which has a D-ring so you will be able to detach the leash and let the collar on to act like a nice wide choker.  

 Ball Gag

Once you used your partner with the idea of being dominated, it’s time to take it to the next level. And the next level begins with a ball gag. Make sure you choose a ball gag that has breathing holes in it. On the other hand, if you don’t want to close a hole that’s open for fun, you have the option of a dental mouth gag, which is a variation of a ball gag that will let you take advantage of the pleasures of oral sex.

Fetish Fantasy Series Ball Gag Training Kit is the perfect first choice in the ball gag training of your partner. It has those breathing wholes, it comes in multiple sizes and the material of the ball is soft to the touch. 

Nipple Clamps

For those trying BDSM for the first time, the nipple clamps can look pretty scary. But I can assure you they’re painless if you use this next trick. Always put the nipple clamps on your partner after you turned them on. The sexual tension that floods their body will make them more resistant to pain. In fact, it will make pain pleasurable. On top of that, nipple clamps can be a stunningly sexy accessory to your BDSM outfit. Some of them come interconnected with chains that can also include a nice choker.

First Time Fetish Nipple Teasers is pair of nipple claps ideal for the first breasts kinks. They come with coated heads, so that the soft skin of the nipple won’t be harmed. For more effect, when the nipples are clamped, you can lightly pull the chain connecting them for a more intense pleasure. 

Flogger

I don’t want to be all technical in this BDSM beginner couple guide, but what people usually call a whip when it comes to kink gear is actually a flogger. Whips are used for more advanced BDSM rough sex sessions. What you want at first is a flogger. It can be delightfully used in combination with the wrist restrains and it’s not dangerous at all if you follow a couple of basic rules. First of all, know your level. Start slow and increase the intensity one step at the time and stop if your partner gives signs of real pain. Also, limit yourself at back and booty in the beginning. With time, you can advance to breasts, thighs and even to the soles of the feet.

Sex & Mischief Faux Leather Flogger is a simple and efficient toy for the couple who wants to introduce light pain in the bedroom. It comes on black, it has a wrist strap and it’s classy. 

Bondage Bed Set  

A bondage bed set will come with most of the toys presented before, and with some extra items, such as butt plugs, cock rings, clitoral stimulators and dildos. This is an ideal start off kit to some complete BDSM tease and orgasmic experiences. For a BDSM beginner couple, this should cover all the naughty ideas they have in the first steps to this new lifestyle. 

 And with this, we end your first lesson. Get your gear and train your partner. Experiment and enjoy, but don’t forget the safe word. Then come back for a second lesson. There’s a lot to learn and many exciting kinks to discover. We’re expecting you in the next chapter, The Punishment: Beginners Guide to BDSM (Part Two). The BDSM lifestyle awaits you!